My business card says:

You’ll notice it says Wizard on it.

I have agonized for many years over whether to declare myself to the world unapologeticly as who I am, in stalwart defiance of what anyone else might think.  I always wanted to make my way in the world being Me, doing what I do.  The Universe was kind enough to give me a path by which to do it, so I suppose time has come to put my money where my mouth is and step up.
Most (not all, but most) people I have run across who would publicly declare themselves to be a Wizard, tend to be unstable weirdos who are chiefly full of shit.

Admittedly, most practitioners of the subtle arts are loath to be associated with the word, due to its prevalence in fiction- they probably think people won’t take them seriously.
This is in part why I choose it- for one thing, stories have power, and for another, it doesn’t do to take oneself too seriously.
It adds a certain whimsy to the whole business, allowing people to blow it off as a bit of humor if they choose-
everybody knows there’s no such thing as Wizards after all.
By the time people know me well enough to decide there might actually  be a Wizard wandering around in the world, the unsettling suspicion that I might be able to fuck up their whole day with mind-bullets, is generally offset by the knowledge that I’m a really nice guy.
Also, I ‘m quite intelligent, rational, logical, practical, and a realist- my dear friend Nicole almost snorted diet coke all over herself the first time she heard me call myself a realist and argued that I’m about as far from realism as one can get.  Though I see her point- realists generally don’t go around deciding that they’re Wizards, I’m merely starting from a different Baseline Reality.  I live in a world where Magick exists and Reality itself isn’t quite so static as most people seem to assume it is.  From this point of view, most of my assumptions about the nature of reality really are quite sensible.

Now, as far as my credentials go, that gets tricky.   It’s not like there’s a “Hogwarts” or an “Unseen University” or a “Jedi Academy” from which to acquire a degree.  I know there are a number of mystery schools, reconstructionist religions, old teachings, and secret societies out there-  I don’t belong to, nor fit in with any of them.
I started actively searching for magick when I was thirteen years old- and at the time, in the backwoods of Arkansas, the internet was but a DOS green gleam in a cokebottle lens, and there was nothing to be found on the subject of magick at the nearest bookstore thirty miles away.
Down in the Bible Belt, Magick didn’t exist and if it did it was of the Devil.
I knew Magick was real, or at least I decided that I was going to find it, whether it was real or not.
That was twenty three years ago.
It wasn’t long before I came to the realization that if Magick did in fact exist, then someone had to have been the first one to figure out how it worked without the benefit of any teachers or books.  It was perhaps arrogant and rash of me to decide that if someone in the long lost mists of time had done it, I was damned well smart enough to figure it out for myself.
I found The Magick.
Or The Magick found me.
Whichever the case, it certainly isn’t what I expected it to be when I started.  Neither am I, actually.
“Magick” isn’t what most people tend to think it is.
Then again, sometimes it can be.
I set out searching for fireballs and magick rings and found…  It seems at times a bit like sneaking up on quantum mechanics from the back side of the mountain where the faeries live.
It’s usually a terribly subtle business of easily dismissible coincidences stacked up beyond the bounds of normal probability.  Sometimes though- sometimes the miracle of flat-fuck impossible happens, leaving you utterly mystified and trying to wrap your brain around what just happened.
This current in reality, this Magick, happens to everybody all the time- we’re existing in the same broad Universe after all.  A Wizard, actively knows it, and can use that knowledge to his advantage, and to help others deal with the weird shit when it crops up.
It isn’t particularly comfortable knowledge.
No matter what name we call ourselves, whether we were born this way or it was a choice we made, those of us who have the ability to sense and to deal with that ineffable “otherside” of reality, where mind and spirit and worlds collide pay a heavy price.
The processes by which one can gain a measure of control over their own chunk of reality, influence events in their favor, and actually work Magick are relatively simple.  The hard part is learning to control our own minds, while living in a multilayered reality that we knew about as children but the “normal” world says doesn’t exist.
The hard part is not going off the deep end of madness as we try to figure out what’s Real, what’s Not, and how much that actually  matters.
The hard part is learning to make the right choices.
That’s the thing about dreams and wishes and magick- they’ll show you the door, but you have to choose to walk through it.  They can stack the deck in your favor, but you have to choose how to play your cards.
My card now says “Wizard”.
So as far as credentials go, I’ve got twenty three years of the “Hard Way” under my belt and I’ve got the scars to prove it, but you probably can’t see them.

So why put this on my business card?
Well, sometimes people need a Wizard- usually for the same things they need a Wizard for in stories.  The best thing they do is empower people with what they need to know. (Of course here I open myself up to the wiseass question “well, what do I need to know?”  I’ll go ahead and answer you with an equally wiseass reply- That you need to figure out what you need to know.  Next song…
Actually on a serious note- that really is what many people need to figure out.  Many problems get sorted out in short order as soon as you know the right question to ask.)
I’m also really good at making magick things- that would be the artificer bit on my card.  If you should need a good focus, ritual tool, good luck charm, some protection from Whatever, something for empowerment, or something to help squeegee off your third eye- I can hook you up.  My prices are quite reasonable. Just bang me an email.
I also have a talent for helping people deal with their “crazy” that the usual means don’t seem to help with.  Really, seriously, if the meds don’t cut it I May have some thoughts you’ll find helpful.  I’ve dealt with depression since I was eleven, I’m Ok, and I’m unmedicated.  Let me be clear, I’m not a psychotherapist, I have no councillor training, many people need professional help and meds to correct specific chemical imbalances or crossed brainwires, HOWEVER: I have found that Some of what gets diagnosed as mental or emotional disorders, stem from being subjected to Other sorts of influences from the Wizardly side of the fence- that shit Will make you crazy, and your shrink typically doesn’t have a clue about that sort of thing.  I’ve developed some techniques that may be of service to you.  Not saying I can fix anything, but I may be able to help.  Really.  I’ll post more about this subject as I can.  One important note- I can only teach you to help yourself, I cannot fix these things for you.  If I could snap my fingers and make it all better I swear I’d do it but I Can’t.  Its silly for me to get choked up at writing that.  But I did.  Because I wish I could.  Because I know that Hell…
Anyway- if you need help, and the muggle solutions don’t cut it, I’ll tell you what I’ve learned and try my best to help you get a grip on it.

Wizards are also good, if you’ll pardon the Arkansan vernacular, for whoopin some bogeyman ass.   (You can insert your favorite malicious supernatural entity in place of bogeyman.  Sounds ballsy?  Yes.  Sounds cheesy? Yes. Have I done it more than once because I was bored? Yes.  Sound kinda stupid like “hold my beer and watch this”? Yes.  Didn’t I mention scars and the Hard Way?… I digress)

So if you find yourself in need of a Wizard, or some Wizardly advise, I’m your guy.  I’m on the road a lot with the love of my life so it may take me a minute to get back to you, but please, feel free to drop me a line.